Almost Lover

My boyfriend is amazing. I can't helpt it, every time I see him it seems like I fall in love with him all over again..

I'm falling and I can't stop.

I think I'm falling in love with this boy I haven't seen in 10 years. Facebook does definitely bring people back together. But how abouy my current boyfriend? Because of a lot of changes in the near future a break will be inevitable after the summer. We both know it. Yet, should I break his heart already then? I still care about him... Yet this new boy... well old new boy... It feels like I've been in sleep for a very long time and he's here to wake me up?

So at the beginning of this week I went to the sea for a couple of days with a friend. Celebrating the end of our finals and just having a lot of fun. Fortunately the weather was great too, we had to chance to hang out on the beach every day.

Yet, when I got back home my lips started to hurt. I put a lot of cremes on it but nothing seemed to help, so yesterday I decided to visit a doctor.. Apparently I have an acute outbreak of the herpes virus (type 1) and it hurts like a hell. My lips are huge, eating is almost impossible and all I can do is stay indoors.

I guess summer is in town...

Today I had my final exam.. And damn it went very well... I think I saw the professor writing 17/20.

:)

This is me being happy!
Time to go shopping.. I want books and DVD's...

I'll be out there somewhere!

The last couple of weeks have been very hard on me. With my graduation ahead, I'm starting to get scared. I still have to succeed for 2 exams. The first one I had last monday. I wish I could say it went very well, but truthfully I don't really know. The second one is next monday and it's a lot. Why do I even have to know anything about medical diseases? Ok, I can understand why I have to know something about it,  but why do I have to understand every mechanism of our body (or at least a whole lot of our bodymechanisms).

So, I hope you're all wishing along with me, so I can graduate in july. Although this period in my life is very exciting, it's also the most frightening period ever.

Time to get a grip again!

Today I had a confrontation with a wasp.

I was turning around a corner where I bumped in to him or her.
You probably have seen two people get in eachothers way where they both move to the left and then both to the right, they laugh and finally one of them let the other pass. My get-together with this wasp was very alike. He couldn't get past me and I couldn't pass him untill I decided to just get around it.

This may seem stupid to whoever is reading this, yet I'm making progress. It gives me hope. Maybe someday my life will get back on rails too. Truthfully... I'm hoping that will happen soon. It really is time to move on. To get past all of it.

Today I saw how a bee got killed by a car.

First you must know that I'm scared of insects and especially bees. I'm that girl on the street that suddenly jumps to the side or starts running the other way or just looks really frightened.

Yet, today I saw this bee flying when I was waiting for the light to turn green to cross over. Only 5 seconds later this huge jeep passed by, there was a clapping sound and the bee was lying next to me on the pavement. For a second I even felt sorry for that little being. Just to get scared very quickly afterwards.

Although I'm not fond of bees even I don't wish them that kind of dead (not that me killing them is less painfull for them).
That clapping sound when the car hit him, it just shocked me.

In a single moment our lives can be over. Over and out. No more me and definitely no more you.

I think it's time to start living again.

Because I'm in my senior year at college, I have to write a masterthesis. The deadline is due tomorrow and I keep changing these little details and I keep discovering norms to wich my thesis has to comply.

I'm going to be so relieved tomorrow when I can hand it in. Then I'll just have to wait untill the 4th of july to find out how good or bad it was.

Either way, from tomorrow on I'll be studying the next 3 weeks. Being a student can be so much fun sometimes...

Almost lover is back. Just when I decide that it's been enough, he thinks it's time to make an effort.

Maybe he wants to torture me?

Either way.. I let him back in. I will regret this tomorrow, but for today I'll just be happy that he cares enough to not let me go.

I still hope that one day I'll be strong enough to walk away from this.